The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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