Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
