This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
