this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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