Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
