You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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