the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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