but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
