You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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