Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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