I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
