The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
