Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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