So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
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when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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