Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
