What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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