how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
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i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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