I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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