In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Let's get the cat blown out
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
