my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
