You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
