It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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