so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
