Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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