I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
