It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
