Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
