I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
