why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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