I didn't shave. On purpose
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My dick has a subreddit
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
