You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
