And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
