I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
