She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
