Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
