Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
