She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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