garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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