O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
