i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
