Quick, to the slutcave!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
