It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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