why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
