nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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