Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
