I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
