my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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