Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
