you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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