Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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