Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
