Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
