My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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