My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize