bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
