that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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