Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
