don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
