Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
