curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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