So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Pants are for mortals
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
