This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
