dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
