I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
