please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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