there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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