today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
As shirtless as possible
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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