She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
