"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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