Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
