We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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