I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
